Leader's Debate The de-brief

“You can’t airbrush your policies as you do you posters”. I wonder who came up with that one. Perhaps is was Gordon himself as he cracked into his soft boiled egg and soldiers the day before. Perhaps he ran it by someone: “Hey, Sarah, check this one out…” guffaw, guffaw.

The Leaders' Debate saw a lighter side to Mr Brown. And a tighter side to Mr Cameron as he twisted and writhed his way through questions most thought he’s sail through. But the winner of the night? The other guy, what’s his name again? Our new hero, Mr Clegg. My other half came in halfway through the debate – “who’s that guy?” he asked. No, he hasn’t got the most memorable of faces. But how he stood up to Brown and Cameron was one of the most glorious moments in modern British politics that I can remember.

“Mr Clegg will agree with me on this…” gloated Brown to Cameron. To which the Yellow’s Leader retorted “the more they attack each other, the more they sound the same” - POW. “We will stop putting money into the development of unnecessary trident missiles” – BIFF. Then he proposed a 10% tax on all bank profits – WHAM. Game, set and match.

Brown’s trump card remained the economic recovery – which he promised us lies entirely in implementing a job’s tax. Cameron claimed this is the very tax which will bring the economy back to its knees. Brown wants ID cards, ‘personal promises’ for NHS delivery and an elected and much reduced House of Lords (a few intakes of breaths from ze’ upper classes).

Cameron stuck to the Tory thirst for world domination, believing we need to continue funding trident missile development (in case we need it, you know, “in case of China”) but lots of money for the NHS. At the expense of other services perhaps. But if you ‘work hard’ and save £8k on retirement, you won’t have to pay for care in your old age. He didn't mention what happens if you’ve ‘worked hard’ bringing up children, ‘worked hard’ for charity or ‘worked hard’ and simply not been able to save up such a nest egg due to soaring taxes…

While Clegg chillaxed on the back of his heels with his hands thrust deep into his pockets, Brown smirked and gurned and Cameron fidgeted and looked uncomfortable. For a man with nothing to loose, Clegg stuck himself outside and beyond the Reds and Blues; better education (although my mother the Educational Psychologist claims smaller classes and one-on-one tuition only works for specific age groups – she’s vowed to write to him to let him know), more transparent policing, a peace-friendly foreign policy and above all ‘fairness’.

Thanks Nick. We think you did marvellously. As did the St Ives and Isles of Scilly constituency who were voting in their droves for their Blue man prior to last night but this morning nudged the Yellows into the lead. It’s going to be a terrific race to the finish, but one thing’s clear – a Lib Dem vote’s no longer a ‘wasted vote’.

Leaders' Debate

A lesson to Tweeting Candidates

It's always a shame to fall at the first hurdle. I'm feeling a bit sorry for 24 year old Labour candidate for Moray, Stuart MacLennan today. Did I say candidate? I meant ex-candidate.

The poor lad obviously wasn't told that when you tweet, well, the whole world can see what you're saying.

That includes your boss, Stu. you know, the Prime Minister?

Stuart reportedly referred to the youngserly-challenged as 'coffin dodgers', the financially challenged as 'chavs', swore (a lot) and reportedly complained when his train had no first class to offer him. Good Lord, old boy - no first class? Whatever did you do? Tuck into some scones and a Pimms to remind the rest of the world you were in cattle-class by accident?

I can't prove any of this, of course, because the poor lad had to close his account, in vain it appears, as this afternoon the Labour party dropped him quicker than Cameron's going to drop the ban on fox hunting (still remembering one of the best Sun headines ever when protestors stormed the Commons - it read 'For Fox Sake').

I just can't help but wonder if ole' Stu was batting for the wrong team. I mean, a first-class loving, elderly and lower class hating Labour candidate? Whatever next? A black BNP member?

How Wood you vote

Once upon a time there was a girl from Kent (and lives in Cornwall) who would have voted nothing but Labour. Then there was a war.

Now she wants to vote for the right party for her county and her country - not just for the party she was socialised to vote for.

Her quest might bring her right back to the beginning - settling for a vote for Brown. But could an honest, no-holds barred dive into the 2010 elections bring her closer to the Tories than she ever thought possible?

Exploring the major parties and the lesser known ones, this is Jo's Blog, asking 'how would you vote?'

The Fruit Budget

You know, it’s one thing that it cost me 119.9p a litre to put a couple of drops of unleaded in my car last night (it’s all I could afford) but now they’re telling me cider’s going up 10%. 10 bloody percent.

Now, I regard apples as one of my five a day. So where does this stand, Darling increasing the price of my being healthy?

If I was American I would simply sue his ass. But being British I’ll have a good old grumble on my blog and do nothing about it.

Facebook being the dear creature it is has reacted angrily, with over 200 determined networkers to declare ‘Fuck Alistair Darling - Let's all Binge Drink before the Budget!!!’

That’s if one can get served – the last time I went to buy some Ratler from Morrisons I got ID’d by what looked like a 12 year old. I’m 30 in June. It was all decidedly confusing. She had to call over her manager who was old enough to check my ID.

Anyway, I digress. It’s time, my dear Cornish friends (they only drink wine in London – I checked - a lot) to stock up. Stock up now, before it’s too late and Darling forces apples out of your diet. The bastard.

Gender definition

I just wanted to show off my blinds. They have no wordly right to be sitting here on this blog, apart to highlight the fact that no matter how far gender equality comes, there’s just no getting away from the fact that women are more drawn to some ‘crafts’ than men.

To my knowledge my bother’s never sat himself in front of a sewing machine and knocked up a cushion, or hemmed a curtain.

Anyhoo, here’s the somewhat wobbly result of a few good hours labour

Tiger the 'sex addict'

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Oh, apart from that one, and that one. And, oh darn it, ok, hands up, I'm a sex addict. Yeah that must be it.

"I'm not a man who simply doesn't think the rules apply to me (although I've admitted that I don't think they do). Nor that I didn't think my wife would ever seriously leave me (taking my kids whom I don't deserve with her). Nor that I thought I was such a massive star my sponsors wouldn't forgive me screwing hookers behind my wife's back left right and centre. I also think that by regurgitating a PR speech I've practised a thousand times in front of the mirror will pretty much get things back on track."

Seriously Tiger, there's nothing more you can say. We get it, you're sorry. You're sorry you were caught and your bubble burst.

People make mistakes - it's human nature- but mistakes on 'Tiger scale'? There are men who think it's ok to cheat - who get off on the secrecy, the excitement of being with someone but their partner - and there are men who don't. I've got to say I think that changing the fabric of your morals in your 30s is akin to the ease of changing your skin or eye colour.

Call me a skeptic but I've heard that speech before from an ex who couldn't keep his dick in his pants. That lasted 15 minutes too. I mean his fidelity. There's no such thing as sex addiction. Just dickheadism.

And yes, women cheat too.