Ok, so it was my own fault for watching Big Brother in the first place. I’m not proud, it’s not big, and its not clever. That said, what I saw today was so unbelievable it left me agog, staring at a blank screen, long after I’d turned it off, jaw still firmly on the floor.
‘Italian stallion’ and Sly look-alike Mario – which, by the way, isn’t his real name, and he hasn’t set foot in Italy in his entire life – got nominated for eviction. On mulling his imminent possible ejection from the house over with girlfriend of 3 years Lisa, who is also in the house, the sexist pig told Lisa that if he left her days would also be numbered in the house ‘without your man here’ because she ‘isn’t strong like him’. Is he kidding? I mean is he actually yanking my chain? No one on God’s green earth could possibly say that and mean it could they?
Mario is not known for is liberal thinking when it comes to gender equality, however. Lisa’s father has branded Mario a bully, after he reportedly bullied and manipulated Lisa into having her breasts enlarged. More seriously though, the red tops have been chocker block with allegations of his past domestic violence, and even forcing a 19 year-old ex-girlfriend into an unwanted abortion.
Whether these allegations are true are not, what is perfectly clear is that Mario apparently thinks himself to be God’s gift, and clearly needs taking down a peg or two. The best thing that could happen to that guy is to leave the house in a cloud of shame next week, then watch Lisa become a more accepted part of a group she’s been isolated from because she’s been tied to Mario’s apron strings. Come on Lisa – it’s time to grow some balls and stick up to that sexist pig of a boyfriend.
Showing posts with label bully. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bully. Show all posts
Thursday, 10 July 2008
Sunday, 6 July 2008
Sitting on your hind
"Further to this Jill Saward has written this piece on why she’s standing for the by-election. Needless to say, it being a Comment is Free piece so far she’s been described as “pathetic” (robertdaniel), told to “grow up” (GoingGoingGordon), that her writing is “spurious” (RoadRiverandRail), that women reporting rape are all liars (comment detailed but quoted in another one), that women shouldn’t make this a gender/feminist issue (tangerinedream), that talking about rape is “sneaky” (Kvasnik) and that her campaign is “absolute bollocks” (funwithwhips). Lovely."
And needless to say, it being an F-Word piece, they love nothing better than to bitch into the wilderness without actually, err, doing anything. I know it's a new concept. But how about in loving to hate the misogynists, one actually logged into commentisfree and wrote in defense of Jill? Or complained about some of the more undesirable comments by reporting the abuse? Isn't the whole point that misogynists are heard too much, too loudly? Why not just stand up to them there and then, instead of creating a safe environment where no one else is allowed to speak? Why can't we have the courage of our convictions to be heard on the same stage as our opposition?
Or is it just that its so much fun complaining, if we actually took the bull by the horns and changed it ourselves, we'd have nothing left to bitch about. That is true feminism - an actual desire to change, not a desire to winge.
And needless to say, it being an F-Word piece, they love nothing better than to bitch into the wilderness without actually, err, doing anything. I know it's a new concept. But how about in loving to hate the misogynists, one actually logged into commentisfree and wrote in defense of Jill? Or complained about some of the more undesirable comments by reporting the abuse? Isn't the whole point that misogynists are heard too much, too loudly? Why not just stand up to them there and then, instead of creating a safe environment where no one else is allowed to speak? Why can't we have the courage of our convictions to be heard on the same stage as our opposition?
Or is it just that its so much fun complaining, if we actually took the bull by the horns and changed it ourselves, we'd have nothing left to bitch about. That is true feminism - an actual desire to change, not a desire to winge.
Thursday, 12 June 2008
Narcissism with a penis
Are all men narcissistic at some level? I know that’s a blunt tool to throw at you so early on a Thursday morning, but I’d at least like the idea to be entertained. Some less so than others, and of course the odd complete exception from the rule. Many men I know would freely admit that they are. Narcissism goes hand in hand with the arrogance I find many modern men drape around tailored shoulders, and are all to often proud of. It’s a quality that, I’m almost ashamed to admit, I often find rather attractive.
Ashamed, because of course this narcissistic quality in men has a frightening danger of turning into something more than just “an abnormal desire for ones self, where you lack empathy, and unconscious inadequacy of self esteem, due to regression of child development… a delusion that you are more important than everyone else.” It can turn into something much darker, as all too frequently we’ve learned the hard way.
“In a relationship, a male narcissist wants to be the centre of a woman's life and feels that she should be subordinate to him in all ways. He may devalue the partner because she does not live up to his wishes. When frustrated, he withdraws his love and resorts to rage and projection. He provides very little emotional satisfaction for his partner, yet he demands her perfect responsiveness.” Now, you ask yourself why any woman would be so silly as to make herself vulnerable to a man of such deficiency, but let me tell you. It happens to the best of us, and it’s easier than it sounds to fall for a guy who nestles many of these qualities close to his heart. In its infant state, it has meant that dating in the modern age has seemingly become a power battle – who can call who less, who can give less of a shit. The person who wins is the person who will, eventually, get the elbow– a kind of bittersweet reward for being the most important. But before that happens, a woman will all too often lose her confidence, sense of self, happiness and sanity.
This describes it perfectly:
"A narcissist is skilled at the art of verbal abuse and the narcissist is proficient at verbally abusing women. Narcissists like to frustrate women. Their behaviour toward a woman keeps her on the edge of insanity because she doesn't know what is coming next. The narcissist uses what he deems the blunt or brutal truth to eat away at any attributes that a woman might have. The woman is left with no self-esteem when the narcissist is through with her. This is the way he wants her. If her self esteem is not in tact he can gain control over her and retain her as narcissistic supply.”
Of course, I’m not making the sweeping generalisation that all men are of this level – indeed, talking to a physiologist girl friend of mine last night, I found myself trying to convince us both that there were men with a normal level of narcissism pumping in their veins, in order that we might be a) attracted to them but b) not get too bruised a heart along the way. I really hope I’m right.
Ashamed, because of course this narcissistic quality in men has a frightening danger of turning into something more than just “an abnormal desire for ones self, where you lack empathy, and unconscious inadequacy of self esteem, due to regression of child development… a delusion that you are more important than everyone else.” It can turn into something much darker, as all too frequently we’ve learned the hard way.
“In a relationship, a male narcissist wants to be the centre of a woman's life and feels that she should be subordinate to him in all ways. He may devalue the partner because she does not live up to his wishes. When frustrated, he withdraws his love and resorts to rage and projection. He provides very little emotional satisfaction for his partner, yet he demands her perfect responsiveness.” Now, you ask yourself why any woman would be so silly as to make herself vulnerable to a man of such deficiency, but let me tell you. It happens to the best of us, and it’s easier than it sounds to fall for a guy who nestles many of these qualities close to his heart. In its infant state, it has meant that dating in the modern age has seemingly become a power battle – who can call who less, who can give less of a shit. The person who wins is the person who will, eventually, get the elbow– a kind of bittersweet reward for being the most important. But before that happens, a woman will all too often lose her confidence, sense of self, happiness and sanity.
This describes it perfectly:
"A narcissist is skilled at the art of verbal abuse and the narcissist is proficient at verbally abusing women. Narcissists like to frustrate women. Their behaviour toward a woman keeps her on the edge of insanity because she doesn't know what is coming next. The narcissist uses what he deems the blunt or brutal truth to eat away at any attributes that a woman might have. The woman is left with no self-esteem when the narcissist is through with her. This is the way he wants her. If her self esteem is not in tact he can gain control over her and retain her as narcissistic supply.”
Of course, I’m not making the sweeping generalisation that all men are of this level – indeed, talking to a physiologist girl friend of mine last night, I found myself trying to convince us both that there were men with a normal level of narcissism pumping in their veins, in order that we might be a) attracted to them but b) not get too bruised a heart along the way. I really hope I’m right.
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