We've come a long way, baby

Sir Dave of the Cam and Squire Nick of the Clegg just held a press conference in the rose gardens of Downing Street, amongst the tweeting birds of London town, bathed in the ebbing sunshine. All that was missing was the gents in question holding hands.

Cam spoke about their three joint aims - fairness, freedom and responsibility, and the way to do it is proper leadership.

He explained there will be five Lib Dem secretaries of state in the cabinet, as well as Deputy Dog Nick. He assured us that the Lib Dems will be represented at every level of government.

He says "We are not just announcing a new government with new ministers - we are announcing a new politics."

Deputy Dog far outshines his master when he speaks though. He spoke of their promise to the nation "This is a government that will last... not because it will be easy - there will be bumps and scrapes along the way... this is a government that will last because we are united by a common purpose."

They answer several questions from the press (apparently Sky haven't sacked Boulton yet) including where Clegg will live (not in no 11 as the reporter queried - not sure what Osborne would have had to say about that, anyway) and whether this coalition would be able to last 5 years in reality. Clegg says it has to. That they both had a choice to form coalition or not, and they chose to.

And last but not least Dave of the Cam was asked if he regretted his response to the question 'what's your favourite joke?' and answering 'Nick Clegg' some months ago. While Clegg assured the press Dave said no such thing, Dave admits he did and Deputy Dog jokily walked off in a huff with Dave shouting 'come back!' Much laughter. Bit of a red faced Dave of the Cam too. Humble pie for supper...

It's a brave new world indeed, where left and right talk sensibly and in a grown up fashion for the greater good. We've come a long way, baby. But have we come far enough for this to work?



The full text of the coalition agreement is here.

Sky watch

Looks like everyone was either a) reading my blog yesterday, or b) thought the exact same as me, as OfCom receives 1,500 complaints about Boulton and Burley's conduct on Sky News - the tiresome twosome of hysterics and uncontrollable temper.
Now stand on that step and think about what you've done.

Sir Dave of the Cam and Squire Nick of the Clegg: BFFs

So here we are, the day after the night before.

Amongst the confusion of last night (Dav seemed to take top spot before many Lib Dems even knew what the deal was), we at least cleared a couple of things up - Gord handed in his resignation (how adorable are his kids? He should have got them to run his party campaign!), then stepped down from party Leader (nice to see a woman in a top spot for a change, Harriett), then Dave hot on his tale moved straight in with a blooming wife.
Then the con-lib deal was firmed up.

It looks like this:
Dave is PM
Nick is his new BFF as Deputy PM (will enjoy watching how this 'works')
Lib Dems take 6 seats (a quarter) of cabinet seats, and 15 ministerial jobs in Whitehall.
Osborne (god help us) is Chancellor, with Cable his No 2 specifically in charge of the banks. So the Chancellor then?
William Hague is Foreign Secretary.

Here's how the papers look this morning:
The Sun thinks it's a Dave new world - I see what you did there, Mr Murdoch...:



The Mail gets all romantic on us:



The Telegraph - shouts to us with a HUGE headline (biggest ever?) while tempting us with a watch we're likely never to be able to afford when Dave takes a look at the taxes:


The Times is just about as romantic as the Mail but I like the pic, even if I don't like who's in the pic - perhaps Dave will use it as the Cameron's Christmas card this year?:


And the Guardian, who famously backed the Lib Dems and might end up with more than a little Clegg, I mean egg on their face:



Much more honest than all of these however, is the Mirror. Good luck indeed. To all of us...

The Verdict

8:45pm update:

Here's Dave of the Cam. He's accepted the Queen's offer to form a new gvmt.
He pays tribute to the outgoing PM - that's nice of him.
He starts with our problems. Come along Cam - cheer up.
He hopes to form a 'proper and full coalition' between the Blues and Yellows.
"Nick Clegg and I are both political leaders... we want to work hard for the good of the country and for the national interest... I love this country.. its best days are still ahead.. I believe in public service."
(Lots of noise coming from D St - lots of protesters/loud people at the end of the road?)
They want to rebuild trust. Build a more responsible Britain. 'Those that can should, and those that can't are always helped... It will be a gvmt that is built on clear values... freedom... responsibility... This is going to be hard and difficult work."
Hard work for whom, Dave - you or us?


8:35pm update:
Dave of the Cam saluted leaving the Palace for Downing Street, after Queeny asks him to form government. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dave of the Cam, hugger of the hoody is our new PM.
Oddly the Lib Dems appear to have no clue as to what's been agreed for the coalition. Lots of talk on the Beeb about whether Dave of the Cam kissed or shook the Queen's hand.
Right Honourable David Cameron? Honourable?
Beeb cleared up the 'kissing of the hands' dilema - apparently no actual kissing takes place. I can't believe we're actually talking about this.

8:20pm update:
Brown talks back at HQ. He looks relaxed and confident. "We achieved more together than any of us could have ever done on our own." He thanks everyone - and confirms Harriet Harmon takes over as Leader of Labour as of now until a new Leader is elected.

"I am Labour and Labour I will always be."
"We have denied our opposition the majority which they have taken for granted."
"We fought for the future... We fight for progress... We know that progressive change is possible."
"Forever we can be proud"
"This Labour party is the greatest force for fairness this country has ever seen."
Then he assures the Labour party he will still be with them tomorrow, he gives Sarah some lip work and does a little hop and a skip through cheering Labourites..

Hurrah - uplifting - if only they actually had power...

8:10am update:
Sir Dave of the Cam and his wife Samantha arrive at the Queens pad.
They go inside for tea and cake. Probably.
More twitterings:
@EmilyBell "Cameron's stuck in traffic, next to the no. 91 bus to Crouch End - know what that feels like"
@BellaMack "God I hope they follow [Cameron's] Jag and it ends up pulling over next to stringfellows instead."

Apparently the Lib Dems were due to meet to finalise at 8.30pm - Brown was premature in resigning. In fairness they've had 5 days.

7:50pm update:
Gordon leaves Buckingham Palace having tendered his resignation - no police escort which is weird.
Cameron will be the youngest PM since early 1800s.
Brown is welcomed back to Labour HQ to cheers and clapping.

The Twittered election: @ArmyofDave "Already a Scottish family is homeless and unemployed. That's a Tory government for you."
Nick Clegg has been MyDavidCameron'ed.


7:20pm update:
Gord is here. He is off to tender his resignation to the Queen - she will invite the 'leader of the opposition to form a government'.
He talks about the privilage it's been to serve as PM - not for the fame or ceremony but for the potential to make the country better and fairer.
He will 'always admire the courage he sees in the armed forces... they represent all that is good in this country'.
'I have learned a lot about the best of human nature and also about its frailties, including my own.'
He thanks his colleagues and staff - he gives an emotional thank you to Sarah and his sons. Sarah stands at his side, hands clasped.
He says he is leaving the second most important job he ever had - the first he still cherishes - as a husband and father.
He says 'thank you and goodbye'.
Was an emotional speech - well received on Twitter. Everyone a bit jittery as to what Dave of the Cam and the 'dark Lords' are going to do to the country. Breath in, everyone.

Sky News still saying that Clegg will step up as Deputy Prime Minister.

7.15pm update:
Looks like Gord's going to make a statement outside Downing Street any minute now before heading off to the Palace to step down formally as Prime Minister.
BBC reminds us that he was the longest standing Chancellor and has had a difficult PM'ship.
We don't know the ins and outs yet of the Lib-Tory deal, or indeed the strains the parties have been under in order to compromise.

The Day After All The Statements

4:30pm update:
And the rumours begin - this from @GPW_Portland

Lib Dems have six cabinet posts, Clegg becomes deputy PM, sources say.

Dave of the Cam just left Tory HQ. BBC quips 'he's probably just going to McDonalds!'
Plus this is pretty sick if it's true:

4pm:
BREAKING NEWS

BBC hears 'talks are over' between Labour and the Lib Dems and that 'luggage seen at the rear of No 10'.

(5pm: this from the Graun:

Isn't 24-hour news mad? Earlier I mentioned Laura Kuenssberg's observation that hold-alls were being loaded into a car at the back of Downing Street (4pm). She suggested that it might be a sign the Browns were leaving. A few minutes late the BBC reported that they did not belong to the Browns. Then someone suggested they might belong to the Darlings. Now Jon Sopel has said that they weren't the Darlings' either. It turns out they contained police kit.)

It can only mean one thing. Sir Dave of the Cam's about to be crowned king - watch this space...

NOTE: Ch5 reporter says 'door not quite closed on Labour yet' - but how much do we trust Ch5?

2pm update:

Whereas once the Libs' were the most popular team on campus, it now seems both the Tories and the Labourites are struggling to strike a deal with them.

In true Tory style the far-righters want a Conservative minority gvmt free from Lib Dem involvement (all very well but is that what the British public voted for?). Labour, with renewed confidence since Gord quit, look divided on whether they could actually reach a deal with Clegg.

Seems our Nick is somewhere between and rock and a hard place...

12pm update:

This from Conservative MP John Redwood (a bit hysterically...)

[The current situation is] "a disaster for British democracy... It's all that some of us feared about hung parliaments. There's complete chaos and confusion. I think the Liberal Democrats feel they can dictate everything to either of the two main parties. Of course, they're not able to do that, and they've got to decide which compromises they're going to make."

Meanwhile, Nick's still weighing up his options...

c/o quirkybet.com

11:40am:
Alarming update - with it looking more and more likely that the Libs' are eyeing up Labour, bloggers and news agencies are now calling it the Lib-Lab alliance. It's not the alliance as such I have a problem with - in fact I'd far prefer it. But the name! Lib-Lab. Even the Urban Dictionary has been taken unawares.

11:30am update:
The tooing and froing so far. First up was Clegg:

My parliamentary party was up into the small hours yet again discussing things. We will act, as ever, responsibly. We will act to try to do our bit to create a stable, good government that the British people deserve. And I really hope that we will be able to make an announcement so we clear up everything and explain to people exactly what our thinking is as quickly as we possibly can.

Then it was Sir Dave of the Cam and he says it's now 'decision time' for the Libs' (note the impatient tone...)

I've made a very full, very open, very reasonable offer to the Liberal Democrats to deliver that stable government. My own members of parliament have shown that they are prepared to put aside party interest in the national interest by agreeing a referendum on the alternative vote.

It's now, I believe, decision time - decision time for the Liberal Democrats - and I hope they make the right decision to give this country the strong, stable government that it badly needs and it badly needs quickly.

Remember Dave of the Cam last Friday went on and on about speed. Well, speed's not what we've got - at this rate we'll be lucky to have a parliament in time for Queeny's speech. Come on Nick, get a coin and call heads or tails. Both you lose.

Here's a FB group of over 56,000 followers saying 'We don't want the Lib Dems to make a deal with the Conservatives'. It would be interesting to see the party splits of the followers - I'm sure there's more than one or two Tories in there.

10:20pm update:

OK - scrap the Election Blog - this is now called Sky Watch.

This from Super-Bitch Kay Burley



I've got to say I was pretty astounded when this intellectually-challenged reporter goaded poor old Peter Andre into answering questions about how he'd feel if beat-up-faced Alex wanted to adopt his kids (?!?!). But this takes the biscuit.

We're allowed the right to peaceful protest in this country, Ms Burley - it's called freedom of speech.

Sky - please take a long, hard look at yourself.

THIS MORNING:

As with last Friday, the cold light of morning brings nothing much clearer. Labour has wooed the Libs' with Gordon's resignation. The Conservatives have wooed the Libs' with the promise (perhaps) of a referendum on electoral reform.

The Graun's front page this morning describes yesterday as 'events moving at breakneck speed'. I've got to say, Mr Wintour, I respectfully disagree. Although yesterday certainly heated up, we still have no decision.

There's a palpable sense of tension on the news channels and reporters and MPs appear to have resorted to yelling at each other to keep us entertained (this is very cringey - only watch if you like to see grown men point and shout at each other live on television...):



This also goes someway to highlighting brilliantly Sky's biased - their own reporter can't keep a handle on his temper as he shouts 'I'm fed up with you telling me what I think!' and when asked to calm down (and I LOVE this bit) 'he started it!'

And breath...

This from guardin.co.uk, is the situ so far ...

Tory offer to Lib Dems
• Referendum on alternative vote for elections to Commons
• Cabinet seats and other ministerial jobs for Lib Dems
• Agreement on schools, environment and possibly taxation
Labour offer to Lib Dems

Labour offer to Lib Dems:
• Guaranteed alternative vote for elections to Commons
• Possible future referendum on "full PR" of single transferable vote
• Full coalition with cabinet seats
•Broad agreement on deficit reduction
• New leadership for Labour once binding deal with Lib Dems agreed"

We wait with baited breath and secretly cross our fingers that the next PM will be, in fact, Mr David Hotpants Miliband.

Coalition - what it looks like

7.30pm update:

Hague now speaks to the press. Are the Conservatives concerned GB's call to resign is swaying the Lib Dems towards Red? And more importantly are they saying these things to each other - why is this being played out in the press? Here's what Will of the Hague's got to say for himself (we'll not bother to ask where on earth Sir Dave of the Cam is - perhaps he is already too important to talk to 'the people'):

The Liberal Democrats have said to the Conservative party that they are only prepared to enter into a coalition agreement with a party that will change our electoral system to the alternative vote method of voting.

Now, David Cameron and the shadow cabinet and the Conservative MPs have decided that, although our concentration in all of these negotiations has been on the financial situation, on reducing the deficit, on the improvement of education, on the other great issues facing our country, that in the interests of trying to create a stable, secure government, we will go the extra mile. We will offer to the Liberal Democrats in a coalition government the holding of a referendum on the alternative vote system, so that the people of this country can decide what the best electoral system is for the future.

Or they can choose to continue their talks with us, to make a coalition with the Conservative party, which is on offer, in a government that would have a stable and secure parliamentary majority; a majority of 76 in the House of Commons, something highly desirable in our current economic situation; that would have an elected prime minister in David Cameron, the leader who obtained by far the most votes and seats in the general election held last week; and which would say that any reform of our voting system must be subject to a referendum of the people of this country.

We are absolutely convinced that we should not have another unelected prime minister and we should not change our voting system without a referendum. And whatever happens now, and whatever decision the Liberal Democrats make, that is ground on which we will stand.

6:300pm update:

Clegg on Sky news

Gordon Brown has made an important announcement today. It must have been a very difficult thing for him to say personally but I think he has taken it in the national interest and I think his announcement could be be an important element in the smooth transition towards a stable government that people deserve, without of course prejudice and without predicting what the outcome of the talks will be between ourselves and the Labour party.

and the Lib Dem ststement:

Over the past four days we have been working flat-out to deliver an agreement that can provide stable government that can last. The talks with the Conservatives have been very constructive and I am grateful to David Cameron and his team for the effort they have put in. But so far we have been unable to agree a comprehensive partnership agreement for a full parliament.

We need a government that lasts, which is why we believe, in the light of the state of talks with the Conservative party, the only responsible thing to do is to open discussions with the Labour party to secure a stable partnership agreement. We will of course continue our discussions with the Conservative party to see if we can find a way to a full agreement.

Gordon Brown has taken a difficult personal decision in the national interest. And I think without prejudice to the talks that will now happen between Labour and the Liberal Democrats, Gordon Brown's decision is an important element which could help ensure a smooth transition to the stable government that everyone deserves.

5:00pm UPDATE:

Brown speaks outside No 10. Says he has no desire to stay longer than is needed. That he will fasilitate coalition talks with the Lib Dems but will then step down as head of the Labour Party.

He says:

If it becomes clear that the national interest, which is stable and principled government, can be best served by forming a coalition between the Labour party and the Liberal Democrats, then I believe I should discharge that duty to form that government which would in my view command a majority in the House of Commons in the Queen's speech and any other confidence votes.

But I have no desire to stay in my position longer than is needed to ensure the path to economic growth is ensured and the process of political reform we have agreed moves forward quickly. The reason that we have a hung parliament is that no single party and no single leader was able to win the full support of the country. As leader of my party, I must accept that that is a judgment on me. I therefore intend to ask the Labour party to set in train the processes needed for its own leadership election. I would hope that it would be completed in time for the new leader to be in post by the time of the Labour party conference. I will play no part in that contest and I will back no individual candidate.

4:40pm update:

This from the Guardian - made me laugh out loud

My colleague Hélène Mulholland spoke to Simon Hughes at the end of the Lib Dem meeting. Hughes played down the prospect of a deal today: "I am sure there will be a government by the end of this week."

By the end of the WEEK?

4:20pm update:
This from David Laws, on behalf of the Lib Dems:

The parliamentary party has agreed that the central priority must be to form a strong and stable government in the national interest. The parliamentary party agreed that the proposals that have been discussed with the Conservative party and that were aired today reflect very good progress on a number of points. But they have also asked for clarification of details in relation to education funding, in relation to fair taxes, and in relation to issues in regard to voting reform and progress on that issue.

The parliamentary party has agreed that the leader will continue to listen to the representations that are coming from the leader of the Labour party, that clarification will be sought from the Conservative party on the particular points that I've just mentioned and they have also agreed that it is vital that progress should be made on all of these matters as soon as possible in the national interest.

The parliamentary party has also agreed that deficit reduction and a plan to bring down the deficit as soon as possible must be at the heart of any agreement.

THIS MORNING:
I found this graphic of the house of commons on guardian.co.uk most interesting.

Here's what we'll look like under a Cleggeron coalition:

And here's what it'll look like if Clegg and Brown decide they're going to go to bed together:

Meanwhile it's been 3 days since we voted and even though Clegg's begging us to 'bear with them', no clear decision's been made. He said they're:

"working flat out around the clock to try and act on the decision of the British people last Thursday in the election result"

Is it me or is Clegg also telling us this state of uncertainty is all our, the voter's, fault?

The press are betting we'll have a new PM by the end of the day though and I'm prepared to bet my supper that it'll be Sit Dave of the Cam (all hail).

It's hard to tell which is bigger news, though - the fact we don't yet have a parliament, or the fact the EU's about to go bankrupt. Testing times.

Evening dribbles

Wow - 4 hours sleep and I literally feel like a new woman.
And I wake to results that looks pretty much identical to the exit polls of 10pm yesterday.
Tory 306, Labour 258 and Lib Dems 57.
Cleggs mulling over Cam's proposal.
I'm about to listen again online to BBC Radio 4's News Quiz after rumours that yours truly (well, thisisscornwall.co.uk) got a mention earlier.
It's all a bit of a haze.
How's everyone else feeling this evening?