Ok, Cornwall is 3 pieces each now.
And on that note (32 hours awake), my duvet is calling me. Oh yes. And perhaps a shower. Yes. That would be nice.
Thanks to all nearly-thousand of you for reading. xjo
3:00pm:
Ok here we go. They're gathered. Hold onto your panty-hos, Cornwall...
St Ives determined to give me a last-minute heart-attack. Still waiting...
Oh my GOD. I'm starting to actually hate an entire constituency. STILL waiting...
Thank GOD for that - Andrew George, Lib Dem, hangs onto St Ives. Crumbs, that was painful.
2:55pm:
And after Dave asked Nick to dance, we turn back to St Ives where they're still trying to decide who won...
2:35pm:
Dave of the Cam is here. Hushed press. Dave says they've received the biggest increase in seats for 80 years. Cam is patting himself on the back.
He thanks everyone - we should be proud (really?)
"We have to accept we fell short of an overall majority". Oh God - the angel of doom, wars, economic meltdown - let me guess the answer is you, Dave?
Our country's problems are "too big" for "political bickering" and they need to sort things out asap.
Cam thanks Clegg for allowing him to seek gvnt creation.
Cam wants to make a "big, open and comprehensive offer to the Lib Dems" to work together, and negotiate areas they don't agree in (like the trident - Dave really wants that bad-boy).
He recognises Lib Dem strength in education proposals.
Both Lib Dem and Tory would seek to 'cut the jobs tax' and get rid of Labour's ID scheme.
Both want to reform the electoral system - that all votes have equal value.
"A strong basis for a strong gvnt". Will "involve compromise". Dealing with the deficit is 'essential'.
"The world is looking to Britain for decisive action".
"We could be doing so much better". Cam reckons they "put the national interests first".
Dave is bigging Clegg right up. They're new BFFs.
It's like Blind Date. Dave's like Cilla. Nick, The Choice Is Yours.
2:30pm
Looks like Sir Dave of the Cam is going to wake up before St Ives.
Press standing by for his arrival.
Everyone MUST stop saying this is unprecedented. It happened in the 70's. That's not unprecedented.
Dave of the Cam appears to be back in the pub (see very much earlier blog). Is he some kind of big-drinker?
2:20pm:
Our relationship with St Ives constituency right now:
2:10pm:
Typical - St Ives and The Isles of Scilly now one of only eleven constituencies who haven't confirmed their count yet.
1:45pm:
Here he is. Mr Prime Minister himself. Lives to fight another couple of hours.
"We find ourselves in a position unknown".
He has a duty to "resolve the situation, not as a member of the Labour party... but as Prime Minister".
Hung Parliament now 'very real'. Need to establish a parliamentary majority which reflects what the public wants.
Now we're talking about economics and Greece etc. Eh?
Ok back to formation of gvnt: GB says he respects Clegg's decision to 1st talk to Dave of the Cam. They should "take as much time as they feel necessary". GB doesn't rule out 'seeing' any party.
Economical stability and electorial reform are decisions they can all make together.
People "do not like uncertainity" but he basically says 'that's what you bloody voted for - deal with it'. More eloquently than that, mind.
This, in a nutshell, from Brown then:
1:40pm:
Brown about to speak - you can watch live here. Damn the Beeb and their aversion to embed codes...
1:35pm:
Still waiting for Gord to appear.
UPDATE: Labour 253, Tories 298, Lib Dems 54. Poor Nick.
Will GB resign today? (defo not now). Bookies say yes but Sky point out the bookies 'aren't that good at politics'. Brilliant.
1:20pm:
St Ives and the Scilly Isles hanging by a shoe string (is that a saying? Exhaustion kicking in...)
They won't call now until 2pm but may well have to recount if it's as close as suspected. Blooming eck. We could be here 'till next Monday at this rate.
Clegg's had a power-nap. The wuss.
1:05pm:
Norwhich North
BNP 747
Tory 17,280 - elected - I remember this girl, Chloe Smith, when she got in first at the last general election. I feel old.
Lib Dems 7,783
UKIP: 1,878
Ok St Ives/Scilly Isles. Your turn. Come ON.
GB expected to make statement in the next half hour (but not to resign - the stubborn git).
BBC reporting that Nick Robinson says David Cameron will make a conference call to his shadow cabinet at 1345 this afternoon.
1pm:
Tories have held Saffron Walden and Hampshire North East and taken Warwick and Leamington from Labour.
Labour 252, Conservatives 294, Lib Dems 52. A Blue minority government? I think all the Leaders are at home brushing up on the Rule Book trying to work out who can muscle out who.
12:40pm:
Sky news - students are talking about their outrage at not being allowed to vote after 10pm. Chess club guy just revealed he would have voted Lib Dem if he'd been able to.
This is me (if only I had a branch that comfortable):
In other news my mum (the psychologist) says a truly hung parliament would be marv - the cream of the brains of each party making joint decisions like in Germany.
We're in Britain though - I just don't think we're that bright.
12:30pm:
Conservatives take Warwick and Leamington from Labour. Massive 84% turnout. 93rd gain of the election for the blues.
This from the Beeb:
The swing to the Conservatives is not as great as Margaret Thatcher achieved in 1979, according to the results in so far, YouGov pollster Peter Kellner says. David Cameron has won a 5.2% swing, while Mrs Thatcher's was 5.3%, he adds.
12:25pm:
Ah yes, the news we've all been waiting for. The BBc got the scoop in the end...
Cheeky Girls singer Gabriela Irimia expresses her sadness for former fiance Lembit Opik, who has lost his Montgomeryshire seat to the Conservatives. She says of the Lib Dem: "The voters have lost a dedicated man who cared for his constituency and the people in it. It was his life."I wonder if she was on BBC's now infamous The Boat (see earlier blogs)
12:15pm:
Dave of the Cam's telling people he's been awake 48 hours. I challenge this. I challenge him to a 'keep-awake' contest. I'm just waffling on a blog - he's making actual decisions/trying to convince decision-man Nick.
Who wins?
12:05pm:
Just want to remind everyone of the exit poll published 6th May 10pm.
It looked like this:
Conservatives 307
Labour 255
Lib Dems 59
And we're currently at Conservative 292, Labour 251 and Lib Dems 52.
So really I could have gone to bed at about 10.02pm last night then? As it is I'm on 28 hours and counting...
11.55am:
Professional Toff Boris Johnson thinks the Tory increase is "bleddy tewwific" - no, sorry, a "marvelous achievement". Still 29 constituencies to call. Including St Ives and the Isles of Scilly which we're following here.
Rumour has it that our deciding-man Nick hasn't given Dave of the Cam a call yet.
Playing hard to get - I like it.
This is how I feel right now:
11:50am:
Farage still 'comfortable' in hospital. Galloway for Respect loses his seat. Dave of the Cam will talk to press at 2.30pm. I'm starting to think it's unlikely I will ever sleep again.
11:40am:
Well, either Nick's in a great position this morning, or in a very very awful and difficult position.
Former Liberal leader Lord Steel says he's in a "hellish position".
Downing St says they won't talk to Clegg until all the votes are in. So the end of May then? No, that can't be right because Queeny opens parliament on 25th May. This is all very confusing.
11:20am:
Ok - share of vote so far:
Labour 29% Conservative 36%, Lib Dem 23% - which is clearly not reflected in seats Labour 251, Conservative 291, Lib Deb 52.
Turnout so far has been 65%
11:15am
Beeb says:
George Parker, political editor of the Financial Times, tells BBC World Service: "I think the Tories will talk to Nick Clegg. I don't think they'll be prepared to offer a deal on electoral reform because, for the Conservative Party, they see that as a way of excluding themselves from power for a generation."
11:10am:
From the Graun
The Guardian's editorial conference has just ended. All our big commentators were there, and as you can imagine, a wide range of views was aired. Martin Kettle said it was all over for Labour, and David Cameron should be allowed to "get on with it".11:05am:Polly Toynbee disagreed and said the electorate had not handed a clear mandate to the Tories. She said it was possible that if Gordon Brown resigned as Labour leader, a reformist candidate such as Alan Johnson could take over, promise a time-limited government to deliver electoral reform, and go to the polls again in nine months or a year.
Simon Jenkins said the Guardian had "got what it wanted" and could not complain about "confusion": this is what hung parliaments look like, he said.
Our economics editor Larry Elliott, who has been highly critical of the Liberal Democrats, joked the Guardian should continue to back the party as it would "probably finish them off". He said Nick Clegg had been "exposed" in the final leaders' debate.
Paddy Ashdown speaking - Clegg is honouring the wishes of the British public by talking to Dave of the Cam first. Ashdown says Clegg promised he would give whomever had a majority the right the seek government. He is "a man of honour".
Ashdown insists Clegg will ask "can Mr Cameron govern in the national interest?"
Paddy Ashdown wouldn't be pressed - didn't seem comfortable 'answering questions on behalf of 'them''.
10:45am:
Clegg will "be guided by his principals" and "argue for greater fairness in British society.. as well as political reforms to fix the broken political system".
He is talking about both the fact many were left unable to vote in problems with the polling stations, and that overall share of vote is not reflected by a proportionate number of seats in Westminster, and finally we know will be looking for reform in the House of Lords - which we know will make Dave of the Cam uncomfortable.
He returns with fewer seats than he started with, but basically chooses who will become PM. He's talking to the Conservatives first because they have the majority. It's up to them to prove themselves to him.
10:00am:
We've got a hung parliament - it's official.
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